toujours_le_votre's Xanga

Thursday, October 22, 2009

Thu, 22 Oct 2009 23:49:03 GMT

long time no see :)

Without you there's no me
You're the air that I breathe

Got to give yourself up and then you become whole
You're a slave to yourself and you don't even know
You want to live the fast life but your brain moves slow
If you're trying to stay high then you're bound to stay low

Welcome to the age of un-innocence.
No one has breakfast at Tiffany’s and no one has affairs to remember.

But all the highs and the lows
And the to's and the fro's
They left me dizzy
Oh won't you please forgive me

We've been thieving
We stole the light from the dawn
And if you come round on this ledge
You wish you'd never been born

And all the memories of the pubs
And the clubs and the drugs and the tubs
We shared together
Will stay with me forever

I lived my dreams today
I lived it yesterday
And I'll be living yours tomorrow
Anything else to say?

Have we enough to keep it together?
Or do we just keep on pretending
And hope our luck is never ending

If you get tired of hanging around
Pick up a guitar and spin a web of sound
Then you could be strung out all day
With your lovers and clowns
But now I find myself still hanging around

I did not know what to say to him. I felt awkward and blundering.
I did not know how I could reach him,
where I could overtake him and go on hand in hand with him once more.

What's this feeling?
My love will rip a hole in the ceiling
Givin' myself to you from the essence of my being

And all the memories of the fights and nights
And the blue lights and all the kites
We flew together
I thought they'd fly forever

And alarm bells ring
When you say your heart still sings
When you're with me
Oh darling, please forgive me

Ignorance is love, and I need that shit

Makin' room for his love and a fire gone blaze

This is a dream come true, finding the perfect words to sing to you

But I no longer hear the music
Oh, no, no, no.

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tue, 22 Sep 2009 21:30:19 GMT

sub/com
I love you Isla Vista

You're like water for my soul when it gets thirsty

Music when the lights come on
The girl I thought I knew has gone
And with her my heart it disappeared

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Thu, 17 Sep 2009 06:17:06 GMT

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I move in 3 days!

I am an excitable person who only understands life lyrically, musically, in whom feelings are much stronger as reason. I am so thirsty for the marvelous that only the marvelous has power over me.

Anything I cannot transform into something marvelous, I let go. Reality doesn't impress me. I only believe in intoxication, in ecstasy, and when ordinary life shackles me, I escape, one way or another.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Sun, 13 Sep 2009 05:35:40 GMT

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I watched friendship slip away
But it wasn't s'posed to be that way

Well I no longer hear the music when the lights go out
Love goes cold in the shades of doubt
The strange fate in my mind is all too clear

Maybe all men are a drug.
Sometimes they bring you down and sometimes, like now, they get you so high.

If you wanna try, There's no worse you could do
I know you lie, I'm still in love with you

It's been a long war and now I'm tired and dirty
Still not dirty enough for you my love

I was carried beyond myself by the inspiring force of urgent necessity

Well is it cruel or kind
Not to speak my mind
And to lie to you

He drinks and smokes his cares away
His heart is in the lonely way
Living in the ruins
Of a castle built on sand

And I'll have lived it tomorrow
No don't look at me that way
Well I heed the words you say
But my heart has gone astray

An ending fitting for the start
You twist and tore our love apart
Your light fingers threw the dart
Shattered the lamp into darkness it cast us

Tell me can you see me
Can you see through it all?
I'm empty lost and alone
Oh won't you heed my call?

Rather than hurt you
Well, I'll confess all of my sins
After several large gins
But still I'll hide from you
And hide what's inside from you

And if you've lost your faith and love of music oh the end wont be long.
Because if its come then I too may lose it and that would be wrong.

Wednesday, September 09, 2009

Wed, 09 Sep 2009 03:07:52 GMT

sub/com
200 subs. thanks (:

"I had my first spliff when I was eight. I first tried Ecstasy when I was twelve. I was surrounded by so much howling-at-the-moon debauchery -- walking in on weird sex scenes with hippies, getting nostril fulls of whatever -- I would long for the tranquility of my dad's place."
<3

Monday, September 07, 2009

Mon, 07 Sep 2009 09:05:35 GMT

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I've got some issues that nobody can see
And all of these emotions are pouring out of me
I bring them to the light for you

There ought to a place to go when you can't sleep or you're tired of getting drunk
and the grass doesn't work anymore, and I don't mean go on hash or cocaine,
I mean a place to go besides death that's waiting and a love that doesn't work anymore.

Friday, September 04, 2009

Fri, 04 Sep 2009 01:22:02 GMT

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Clare, I wane to tell you again, I love you. Our love has been the thread through the labyrinth, the net under the high-wire walker, the only real thing in this strange life of mine that I could ever trust. Tonight I feel that my love for you has more density in this world than I do, myself: as though it could linger on after me and surround you, keep you, hold you.

Stay up all night and sleep all day. We were smart kids with too much to say and so, so sure that they were missing out. They're the ones who are missing out. We were elemental, talked down to bear essentials. Who knew we'd get so far?

You may not be her first, her last, or her only. She loved before she may love again. But if she loves you now, what else matters? She's not perfect - you aren't either, and the two of you may never be perfect together but if she can make you laugh, cause you to think twice, and admit to being human and making mistakes, hold onto her and give her the most you can. She may not be thinking about you every second of the day, but she will give you a part of her that she knows you can break - her heart. So don't hurt her, don't changer her, don't analyze and don't expect more than she can give. Smile when she makes you happy, let her know when she makes you mad, and miss her when she's not there.

Choose cocaine and having the time of your life with kids you would have hated in high school. Choose god. Choose a family. Choose both. Choose a lover and sleeping in the same bed every night. Choose to take the late train home. Choose to learn about the weather. Choose to drown in the ocean. Choose to be a lawyer and make a lot of fucking money. Choose living day to day on luck. Choose sex. Choose drugs. Choose fucking up every chance you get in the pursuit of finding something pure. We will all forgive you.

Wednesday, September 02, 2009

Wed, 02 Sep 2009 02:10:20 GMT

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new layout (:
follow me: sarainternetz

Monday, August 31, 2009

Mon, 31 Aug 2009 04:22:58 GMT

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Saturday, August 29, 2009

Sat, 29 Aug 2009 06:00:00 GMT

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That is the basic problem. You're waiting for me. I'm not there. I arrive. I enter the room. That's when I really start to exist for you. But I existed before that. I had thoughts. I may have been suffering. So the problem is to show you alive, thinking of me, and the same time, to see me alive by virtue of that very fact.

Are you parents still together? Yes, and they've never been separated. Once they were almost separated. Dad was taking a trip somewhere. A little trip. They didn't have enough money for two tickets. Mom went with him to the bus stop. And they looked at each other, Dad in the window, Mom on the pavement. And just as the bus started, Dad got off in a hurry, he didn't want to leave Mom. And while he was getting off in front, she was getting on in back, because she didn't want to leave him. Finally, Dad gave up his trip.

With you, it's always mixed up. No, everything is simple. Too much at once. No. A little harbor, as in Conrad. A sailboat, as in Robert Louis Stevenson. An old brothel, as in Faulkner. A steward-turned-millionaire, as in Jack London. With you, it's always mixed up. Everything's simple. Too much at once. No. Two men who beat me up, as in Raymond Chandler. And you and me and him, see how simple it is? I don't see at all.

Listen, there are 3,600 seconds in an hour. That makes about 100,000 seconds in a day. In an average lifetime, that makes 250 billion seconds. All in all, the two of us have been together for a month. Add it all up! You'll find I've only been with you a couple of million seconds out of the 250 billion that go to make up your life. That's not much. So I'm not surprised that I don't know who you are, either.

<3